Coping with Stress
What Causes Stress?
by Jeanne Courtney, MFT
Human bodies are genetically programmed to produce a "fight or flight" response in frightening or threatening situations. This adrenaline rush is great to have in emergencies. It focuses all your energy on the crisis, makes you extremely alert, and gives you strength to do what's needed with maximum efficiency. After the rush, though, your body needs time to relax and refuel, if it's going to function well in the long run.
A certain amount of stress is normal. Minor annoyances and challenging tasks have to be dealt with every day. Losses and unwanted changes happen to everyone. And, of course, we wouldn't want to live our whole lives avoiding risks, never trying anything new.
But, unlike the distant ancestors from whom the fight-or-flight stress response probably evolved, most of us today aren't facing one life-threatening emergency after another. Mustering the strength to fight a saber-toothed tiger just isn't necessary anymore. The central nervous system, though, can't distinguish one kind of crisis from another. All it knows are the basic feelings of rage (fight) or fear (flight). Arguing with your boss, swerving to avoid a freeway accident, hearing a loud noise, or walking up to a podium, all have the potential to get your heart and breath racing, make your muscles tense up, and get your palms sweating. A major crisis or emergency can create one stressful moment after another, exhausting your body as it tries to keep generating the hyper-alert, hyper-energetic stress response.
An interesting thing about humans is that our bodies actually do recover pretty well from the stress response that occurs in moments of crisis. But stress that doesn’t let up, even if it’s at a fairly low level, really takes a toll. That’s why ongoing issues such as family problems and job burnout can have a big effect, over time, on physical and mental health.
Positive feelings can trigger stress, too, especially if they’re about major life changes. Getting a new job or getting married are high on the list of events that raise stress for most people. It could be that the fight-or-flight response comes into play simply because you're about to encounter something unknown. Just like rage and fear, excitement can be hard on the mind on body, if it's too intense or lasts too long. One definition of stress is that it's what happens when an organism (like your body) receives more stimulation, pleasant or painful, than it can handle.
Often, the way you think or feel about a situation can affect your stress level. Even a small problem can seem unmanageable if it reminds you of something traumatic or truly overwhelming that happened to you in the past. If you catastrophize a problem; stay focused on guilt, blame, or "shoulds"; or think only in black and white terms; it will be harder to relax and come up with a creative solution. The fact that your thinking patterns influence stress is actually good news. It means you can learn ways to think that will help you relax and feel better. In this way, your mind can make your body healthier.
Your body can help your mind feel better, too. The opposite of the stress response is the relaxation response. When you use relaxation techniques to slow down your heart and breath rate, your mind takes a cue from your relaxed body and becomes convinced that everything is going to be okay.
The trick is not to create a problem-free, stress-free life, but to manage stress, by doing whatever you realistically can to keep problems in perspective, pace yourself, and make sure you have time for the relaxing and refueling that your mind and body need. Depending on what’s causing stress for you, it may be necessary to change your situation, find a more positive way to think about it, get support from other people, or use relaxation techniques to help yourself feel calmer. I help people make changes in all these ways, with individual therapy sessions and in my Think Positive! groups.
Request an appointment with Jeanne Courtney.
by Jeanne Courtney, MFT
The Relaxation Response is the way the physical body manifests a relaxed mental state. It may involve a decrease in heart rate, breathing rate, muscle tension, metabolic rate, and/or oxygen consumption.
Breath Work is an effective relaxation technique in itself, and it forms the basis for most of the others. There are a few complicated forms of breath work that require specialized coaching, but most are quite simple, for example: breathing from your belly, slowing your breath, holding your breath for a few seconds and then releasing it, "connecting" your breaths, i.e. inhaling and exhaling without pausing in between, simply observing your breathing, and counting your breaths.
Mindfulness is a form of meditation derived from Buddhism, in which the goal is to observe and accept whatever your mind does, but keep bringing your focus back to the present moment, the current breath. This technique is useful for pain management, and for people whose stress is caused by hurrying toward future tasks or worrying about past events.
Body Scanning involves moving your awareness slowly from one area of the body to next, from your feet to your head, observing any tension or sensations you are feeling.
Passive Muscle Relaxation is similar to a body scan, except that instead of just observing, you make a mental effort to relax each muscle group in succession.
Progressive Relaxation, developed by Edmund Jacobsen in the 1930's, takes muscle relaxation a step further by first tensing each muscle group and then relaxing it. Some people who practice this technique regularly on the whole body are able, in effect, to program themselves to relax at will by tensing and relaxing just one muscle group such as the hands or feet.
Visualization involves relaxing the body by picturing an image in the mind. Popular examples include a peaceful scene, a protective halo around your body, a globe of light warming the areas where your muscles feel tense, anxiety draining out of the body in liquid or gas form, or a "grounding" image such as a tree sending its roots into the ground.
Guided Imagery is an expanded visualization, usually directed by the voice of another person describing the peaceful scene or image. A recording of your own voice can serve the same purpose.
Request an appointment with Jeanne Courtney.
by Jeanne Courtney, MFT
Get enough sleep.
Eat nutritious foods.
Stop or cut down on alcohol, drugs, tobacco, and caffeine.
Break overwhelming tasks down into smaller ones.
Laugh.
Assert yourself.
Do something fun.
Listen to music.
Do something creative.
Take a hot bath.
Pray or meditate.
Stretch.
Exercise.
Ask for help.
Allow enough time to avoid having to rush.
Play with a pet.
Talk to a friend.
Spend time in nature.
Request an appointment with Jeanne Courtney.
Recommended Reading about Stress and Anxiety
selected by Jeanne Courtney, MFT
Bourne, Edward. The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. Oakland: New Harbinger, 2005.
Brantley, Jeffrey. Calming Your Anxious Mind. Oakland: New Harbinger, 2003.
Elliot, Charles & Smith, Laura. Anxiety & Depression Workbook for Dummies. Hoboken: Wiley, 2006.
Luskin, Fred & Pelletier, Kenneth. Stress Free for Good. San Francisco: Harper Collins, 2005.
Mayer, Diane. The Everything Health Guide to Controlling Anxiety. Avon, Mass.: Adams Media, 2005
