I’ve been thinking a lot recently about gender and how people understand it. What is gender? Those of us whose bodies are congruent with our minds may not have had to give this much thought.
As an ally to the transgender community, I believe it is important to support people’s right to define their own gender, and express it in a way that is comfortable for them. If therapists, doctors, or anyone else, attempt to define someone else’s gender for them, or tell them how they should be expressing it, the consequences can be devastating. Historically, transgender people have been denied needed services, because they didn’t fit binary gender stereotypes closely enough. Therapists are in a gatekeeper position to assess if someone is psychologically ready to medically transition, but that’s different from assessing someone’s gender.
In this culture, gender is usually seen as a binary concept - male or female. Some people may describe gender as a continuum, recognizing androgyny in between. I think it is more accurate to think of gender as multi-dimensional. There are so many possibilities, that it is more like a sphere, than a continuum. Four main dimensions are biological sex, gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation.
Biological sex has to do with our physical bodies, and what sex the doctors declared us to be at birth. Gender identity is internal and psychological - what gender our mind feels like. Gender expression is how we show our gender to the world on the outside, which of course is very culture-bound, and includes things like our mannerisms, clothing, jewelry, and hair style choices. Sexual orientation is who we are attracted to, and can include being attracted to: males, females, both, neither, or people who are genderqueer. We can all plot our position between masculine and feminine, male and female, on each of these dimensions. Multiply the four factors, and the possibilities are infinite.
A lot of us would like to see a utopian society where gender roles are more flexible than they are currently. However, for many people, gender is about more than social roles. Some need medical intervention to make their bodies match their minds. Research indicates that male brains are physically distinguishable from female brains. When the brains of male to female transsexuals were examined, they resembled female brains. There is such a thing as brain sex. This may explain why, when transgender people first receive hormones, their reaction can be a physical "Ahhhhhhh," a sense of finally coming home.
In my full-time private practice, about 40 per cent of my clients are transgender or intersex adults or teens. I offer a CEU seminar twice a year for therapists and other service providers on working with transgender clients. I’m also available for individual consultations. Feel free to contact me at VALIGL@earthlink.net or 510-527-5662 x3 for more information.
Request an appointment with Valerie Igl.
by Valerie Igl, MFT
Have you ever been confused about the meaning of the words "transgender" and "transsexual"? Have you tried to find a definition, only to discover conflicting terminology and vague terms that leave you more confused than when you began? Take heart. No one else can define it well either, including those who live it. Nor will we be able to as long as we are limited to the English language and its habit of binary description (male/female, gay/straight, etc.).
Perhaps you've asked some trans people for a definition, thinking that those who live it must surely be able to define it. If so, you may have discovered that trans folk themselves are not in agreement about the meaning of these terms. The truth of it is, just like any other identity description, the meaning is in the living, and it's hard to quantify that meaning in words that truly give someone else the sense of the experience. It's probably impossible to define any identity in such a way that everyone who claims that identity will agree with the definition.
Some people may say "transgender" describes a population of people who have absolutely nothing in common beyond some degree of gender dissonance between mind and body, and who may or may not choose to take action to resolve that dissonance. The word "transsexual" usually refers to people who have taken the step of altering their body to match their mind. Some transsexuals will not use the word "transgender" to describe themselves, putting forth the argument that they have only changed the sex of their bodies, and not their gender, meaning one's internal identification as a man or woman. Other trans folk don't mind being called either "transsexual" or "transgendered."
Because our culture only has words for two genders, male and female, anyone who crosses these lines in any way is not easily describable in English, necessitating the bending of already existing terminology. The mental health profession uses the phrase "gender identity disorder" for diagnosis, wording which does not sit well with many trans people. If you view gender as naturally existing on a spectrum of possibility, then NO ONE's gender identity is a disorder. The criteria for diagnosis repeatedly refers to being trans as "the disturbance," pathologizing the condition.
More than any other identity description, "transgender" has become a word defined at the individual level. There are no objective definitions we can all agree on because the experience is uniquely subjective. Understanding what it means to be trans requires thinking beyond the box, because this is precisely what trans folks are doing all the time. And of course, that's why it's so difficult to define any of the terminology around being trans, because each person is making it be what they need it to be individually.
Understanding this, I have chosen to use the word "trans" in order to be as inclusive as possible. I use that same care in my therapeutic work, being open to whatever ways people want to define themselves. I help my clients address issues of identity, as well as any other concerns that arise, such as dealing with the reactions of co-workers, family members and partners.
Questioning one's gender or going through a transition process can be difficult, not only for the individual, but also for the people close to them. Being trans can be challenging to one's mental health, not because it is pathological in itself, but because of the lack of understanding and acceptance of others, not to mention outright discrimination. That's why it's so important that my approach is supportive and non-judgmental.
Request an appointment with Valerie Igl.
